Thursday, October 17, 2013

New Offices for CFC + CFO

Chicken Farmers of Canada and Chicken Farmers of Ontario are pleased to announce that they have amalgamated their offices together, effective immediately.
Mr. Mike Dungate, Executive Director
Chicken Farmers of Canada

"This should make communications between our two organizations much easier", said Mr. Mike Dungate, Executive Director of Chicken Farmers of Canada ("CFC").

CFC is the industry lobby group responsible for mis-managing the overall supply and demand markets for chicken in Canada.  CFC has successfully ignited a turf war between all of the Provinces.

Chicken Farmers of Ontario ("CFO") has been pouting about how they've been treated by CFC and the other provinces for more than 20 years.

"I thought Ontario would have pulled the plug long ago", said Mike Dungate.  "But you have to give those CFO guys credit, they're tougher than they look."

CFO is the Mafia Don for Ontario's chicken gangsters, and fully irresponsible for screwing up chicken for all of Ontario.  Mr. Adrian Rehorst, Board Member of CFO and their representative at CFC, said "Ontario's a big province.  It isn't easy getting an even distribution of the screwing to all areas of Ontario, both urban and rural.  We have a 5-yr plan to further improve the screwing, making it faster and deeper."

CFO and CFC are so lost, not even
Google Maps could get them back
to reality.  Click map for full size version
There were rumors flying that the co-located organizations were steering a secret course for either Punkeydoodles Corners or Puce Ontario.  Neither CFO nor CFC would confirm or deny these rumors.  We attempted to use Google Maps to plot a course from the site of their mid-Atlantic sinking to Puce, but all attempts failed (click on map to see our attempt and the results).  Both CFO and CFC are so lost, not even Google could bring them back to reality.

There was also some confusion after their press release was sent by cell phone to our sleepy news room.  Poor signal strength resulted in us thinking that the two organizations were merging.
Mr. Dave Janzen, Chairman
Chicken Farmers of Canada

"Oh no, there is no possibility that we're merging the organizations, as nobody likes associating with those CFO guys", said Dave Janzen, Chairman of CFC.  He added, "They'll have to stay over there, and we'll stay over here, or it's over the side they go to join the other rats."

The Supply Management rats from Alberta abandoned ship long before CFC and CFO co-located their organizations.

The Albertan rats were leaving for parts unknown, and were not available for comment.

When asked for the reasons behind the sudden co-location of CFC and CFO, Mr. Adrian Rehorst blurted out, "It's not true that I pulled the plug.  I wasn't anywhere near the sea cocks in the Supply Management's ship."
Adrian Rehorst, CFO Board Director
and CFO's Representative at CFC

We asked for more information on this puzzling response to our inquiry, but nobody was talking any further.

We will continue investigating and inquiring about this curious turn of events.  If you have any information or tips, please call out Tip Line   1-800-CFC-SCAM 

<sarcasm off />

CFC and CFO announced they have amalgamated their offices together, effective immediately.
The Alberta rats abandoned the sinking ship long before CFC and CFO.

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